SyncToy has never let me down I think you are having other types of errors. Also I think your over reacting about something that is freely given to you. This tool isn't the end all of syncing software and is more of a programming example of what you
could do with the sync framework. Your needs would likely be better met by buying a commercial file syncing tool.
Your most likely problem from reading through your wall-o-text is that your using windows 7 home premium, it's lacking basic networking functions that allow you to connect to network shares properly. Try using physical types of media like USB hard drives
or thumb sticks. You maybe even having networking issues.
SyncTool like I mentioned before is basically an example of what could be done with the sync framework. And being basically an example program it isn't exactly programmed to handle complicated sets of errors like a commercial product would. But you could
download the syncframework and build your own that can handle all the things you don't like about it :)